I’m currently in a situation where I filed for divorce, my wife left the house with the kids under an understanding that we would exchange our 15 month old twins boys every 2 days and now it’s been 20 days and she refuses to allow me to see my kids.
I can understand her being protective if I was violent or posed any risk to the boys, or her, but I am not. Her only excuse for not exchange the boys is that she thinks I will not return them to her, exactly what she is doing to me.
Here is a little more information on this situation where the wife I am divorcing is refusing to allow me access to my kids.
On the 19th of last month we had a heated verbal argument over something she had done and she left the house. Roughly at about 1am she arrived back at the house with a Police escort to take the kids and take some of her belongings. I asked her in front of the Boynton Beach police if she fell is fear that I would cause her harm or had threatened any physical harm, and she said no, that was not the case. I told the police that it was not in the best interest of the kids to leave at that time as they were sleeping and should not be disrupted, but that she could take her belonging if she wanted.
My wife then returned at 7am on the 20th, again with Boynton Beach police escort. This time we both agreed to exchange the boys every two days. I wrote an agreement on paper and we both signed it in front on the Police, and witnessed by their body cameras. She took the boys and some of her belongings and went to stay at her relatives house about 2:30 away. We live in Palm Beach County and she went to Lee County.
On Friday the 20th I filed for divorce in Palm Beach county courthouse. I don’t have the money to hire an attorney as at the current time I am not employed, living with my parents, and having to take care of my father who is bedridden with late stage Alzheimer’s and mother who is not in the best of health either. I can’t put my dad in a home, it’s just not the kind of son I am.
I later found out that she had been talking to her uncle, who’s house she went to stay at, and he is a Police officer at Cape Coral Police dept. I’m sure it was his idea for her to come with police escort.
Everything was fine the first two days, and she allowed me to see my boys through FaceTime video. When Sunday arrived, the day we were supposed to exchange the boys, she called and wanted to talk. She wanted to talk about terms of the divorce and she wanted to ensure she had ultimate say on decision making, and wanted me to agree to taking the boys to church every Sunday. I disagreed and said that we both love our boys and neither is an unfit parent, therefore there is no need for her to have unfair custody or ultimate decision making authority; one of the reasons we are divorcing is due to her pushiness, bossiness, and constantly wanting control over everything.
She then said that she was not going to exchange the kids unless she had some sort of agreement from the courts. She also said that she wanted to go to New York with her parents for a week. I disagreed with her and told her how we had agreed to exchange the boys every two days and that it was not fair or in the best interest of future co-parenting relations or the kids best interest to start in this manner.
Shortly after I found out the real reason why she did not want to exchange custody of the boys, her parents had flown down from New York to stay the weekend with her, possibly with the intent to all fly back to New York together.
Promptly Monday morning I went to the Palm Beach courthouse and filed an emergency petition with the judge to establish a temporary custody agreement, and restrict travel outside of the state with the boys. Can you believe the judge denied the petition? Apparently her refusing to equal custody and threatening to leave the state with my sons is not an emergency, even though one of the reasons for an emergency petition is to restrict a parent from taking kids outside the court’s jurisdiction.
Since I did have to send her a copy of the filing, I think that even though it was declined by the judge, it still caused her not to leave the state with my kids. But her parents did stay at her uncle’s house for a week, all the time she refused to exchange custody of my twin boys. She did allow FaceTime several times a day, but it’s not the same when you have been with your kids every day, love to hug them, play with them, and give them kisses; can you imagine being reduced to just seeing them over a video call?
It’s now been 20 days since I have been able to see my kids except for FaceTime video. I have asked her every day to do what is right and fair and exchange the boys so we can move forward in a amicable co-parenting relation and both do what is in the best interest of the boys. She still refuses to exchange the kids.
I have not made any attempt to go to where she is staying to take the kids as I would be concerned as to how this would jeopardize the future. There is this horrible feeling that a man has no rights when it comes to kids, and can be easily criminally charged by a women. I would rather try to talk to her, and go the route of the courts, then jeopardize myself and loose later in court. As it stands now, she is wrong, and will hopefully be corrected by the court system. Currently my kids are in no danger, she is not a bad mother. I just want to hug and kiss my adorable boys.
So what do you do when divorcing and wife refuses to allow you to see your kids?